Our brains and bodies are made up of pathways of neurons, patterns of perceiving, and just as we get used to walking or driving the same route to work or school or the store everyday, we get in the habit of using the same old emotional pathways. There are alternate routes in the outside world, and there are certainly better and more joyful pathways inside of us.
We have good reasons for having chosen our default brain pathways. For the most part, they helped us get what we needed or avoid pain most often when we were small and our brains were developing rapidly. They may have been reinforced or created new later in our lives by traumatic life events or tragic or threatening situations. They served us well. We're still alive. But if you're reading this, a life based on survival isn't cutting it for you anymore. You're ready for a life that actually feels worth being in. Maybe even ready for a little bit of joy.
So, when a feeling that feels good bubbles up - use it.
Stop everything and feel it. Smile, laugh, giggle, cry, sigh, breathe it in. Grin like an idiot. Dance around a little (or a lot). Don't call it silly, don't push it away to get back to "real life." Let this pleasant pathway widen. Let your brain see the potential of what "real life" could be. It will probably only last a moment, anyway. Catch it and let it bury you like a wave. When the wave passes naturally, let it pass. Its memory will take its place in your soul's scrapbook, where your brain can study it and bask in the lingering salt spray left behind. Don't worry, it will come again.
It will come again because now you've opened up a nice new brain highway, that will become easier and more familiar to travel in the future. You've tested it for danger and found it strong and sound. You'll begin gravitating to it naturally.
Your "good" feeling doesn't have to be joy, or anywhere near it. There are so many desirable ways to feel. Rest, comfort, peace, amusement, satisfaction, pride, warmth, or love. You may be at a point in your life where true joy isn't on your emotional radar. Something that feels "better" might be a reasonable substitute for what feels "good," such as acceptance, hope, or relief.
After breaking trail toward better feelings, sometimes our minds will remind us of the reasons we avoided those pathways for so long. Your joy-wave may be followed by another emotional wave. It may be sadness, grief, anxiety or fear. Go ahead and ride this wave, too. Consider it an emotional purge. Don't worry that you'll reinforce the old pattern this way - give it the attention it needs or it will follow you insistently until you do. Once it's been seen and heard, you can know that the old patterns have changed in "real life." Feeling better is safe now.
And if it's not yet safe to feel better, you're beginning to know the better feeling is worth making time for, worth letting in, worth opening towards.
Start where you are, and let the joy in.
